Cousins Hate 'Em
by Sage Mistri
Summary: Tohma, after a major, violent rant from his dear cousin suggests AngerManagement, but in the end, decides to let the boy live at Shuichi’s new apartment. But, I guess he DOESN’T know everything…


**Disclaimer: **Nope…don't own it…wish I did…but don't. Why is Fate so cruel!

**AN - **Second one-shot of the day! Whoop! Hopefully, this one's better. This one's funnier, too! Oh, and in this one, Yuki doesn't exist, yup, doesn't! Sorry…I love Yuki and all, but yeah…you understand, right? Right?

**Summary - **Tohma, after a major, violent rant from his dear cousin suggests Anger-Management, but in the end, decides to let the boy live at Shuichi's new apartment. But, I guess he DOESN'T know everything…

**Paring - **Suguru / Shuichi

**Warnings - **uh…maybe a bit OOCness? I dunno. I tried keeping in character, but I really couldn't help but make the story this way.

_**...Cousins**_

_One-Shot_

"…I swear! You're positively mental!" Suguru shouted, slamming his hands down upon Tohma's desk, efficiently ending the rant, the rather violent rant that went into very fine detail of its death threats, which I will not write here in fear of corrupting young minds. Besides…I don't know it myself. I just heard the last few lines and judging from that, I really don't wanna hear the rest. Really, where did little Suguru learn these things!

Tohma's smile actually fell and his mouth hung open in shock, as did the mouths of every other person in the room, which consisted of Shuichi, Hiro, and K. Sakano **had **been there, but had fainted half-way through the rant and had to been carried out. **That's **how bad it was.

Suguru was breathing heavily, on the floor on his knees, forehead against the desk. Ranting for that long with not many breaths could do that to you. "All…right… I'm…done." He stated between gasps, lifting his head to stare hazy-eyed at his cousin. I think that had to do with the fact that he hadn't eaten or drunked anything all day and it was already six at night.

"Um… Right." Tohma mumbled, trying compose himself, but after **that **little outburst, it's a wonder he could actually raise even a small, fake smile to his lips. "Um…Cousin?" He asked hesitantly. "Have you ever thought about anger-management?"

Suguru stared blankly, eye twitching.

"Uh…not that you need it, of course!" K cried, coming up beside Tohma, sweating a bit, his gun on the floor a ways from him.

"Umm…Right." Tohma agreed.

Suguru took a deep breath. "Right."

"But I do think that you should may be spend a week with a Shuichi or Hiro. I think that empty apartment is getting to you." Tohma explained, hoping his little explanation wouldn't trigger another long, bloody, and full of cuss words rant.

Suguru blinked, his mouth twitching upwards a bit, but he kept in under control. "Yeah…whatever…" He muttered, trying to be uninterested and it seems Tohma bought it.

The smile came back, though it was still uneasy. "Now…" He looked towards Hiro and Shuichi, Hiro still in shock and Shuichi looking up at the ceiling, bored. Tohma blinked at this, but shook it off. He had a sister and some sisters were known for sprouting all sorts of death threats. "So…Shuichi…how 'bout it?" He asked, smirking a tiny bit.

"Hmm? Me?" He asked, pointing to himself.

Tohma nodded.

"With **him!**" Shuichi cried out shocked.

Tohma wanted to roll his yes, but nodded.

Shuichi's eyes teared up. "You can't!" He cried diving behind Hiro, to begin crying into his shirt. "He'll kill me!"

Hiro was still standing there, shocked, yup.

"Oh, he won't kill you!" K laughed, though it was a bit forced. Then mumbling, "Hopefully…"

"Suguru?" Tohma asked glancing at his cousin.

He was glaring at the wall. "I won't…" He replied.

"See, he won't." Tohma replied.

"You won't?" Shuichi asked hopefully, peeking over Hiro's shoulder.

"What did I just say, idiot!" Suguru growled out.

"Eep!" Shuichi yelped and dived back down.

"Good, now that that's all settled. You may leave."

And then, to Shuichi's and Suguru utter dismay, Hiro woke up from his shocked state. "Tohma! You can't do that. Suguru and Shuichi are da-" A hand covered his mouth and cute him off.

"Well, we'll be going! Bye!" Shuichi yelled nervously, as he excited the room, Hiro in toll.

And then, for good measure, Suguru looked back at Tohma, and glared. "I…hate…you…" And then, he left.

Tohma sighed. "Fujisaki's always were the violent ones…"

… … … …

Outside, in the corridor, Shuichi was giggling like a school girl and when Suguru walked out, he couldn't help but run over and hug him, knocking them both down. "That was **awesome, **Suguru! I can't believe we pulled it off! He didn't suspect a thing!" Shuichi laughed, nuzzling the younger man's chest.

"Yeah, yeah, get off…" Suguru sighed, sitting up. "Cousin Tohma might still hear us, but…" He smirked and slammed his lips against Shuichi's, causing the latter to moan.

Hiro stared at the two blankly. "You two really scare me…" He muttered.

Shuichi pulled back. "Says the person that almost revealed what we've been trying to hide for three weeks, Hiro! How could you?" He cried, tears streaming out of his eyes. "Wah!"

"Nakano-san…" Suguru sighed. "Did you really have to do that?"

"…Possibly. At least you get to shut him up." Hiro stated, shrugging.

"I had already shut him up." Suguru stated.

"Right, anyway, have fun. Don't do anything I wouldn't." He called, waving over his shoulder at them as he walked away. "…Though I **do, **do most of the stuff they're thinking about doing… Ah…well…" He muttered.

Shuichi grinned at Suguru, who in turn stared at his lover in a bit of a fearful way. Shuichi grinning like that, was **not **a good thing most of the time. Shuichi leaned down and captured the younger's lips with his own, issuing a moan from the others mouth. Wow…they moan a lot, don't they, or it might be my inefficiently ness at describing kiss scenes. sweat drop

Okay…so it wasn't that bad, the grin, I mean, and they ended up in Shuichi's apartment, on the couch, without drawing any attention, so I guess, everything turned out okay…

… … … …

"Uh…Tohma…" K asked hesitantly.

"Oh, K, I thought you had already left. Is there something you wanted to say?" He asked, looking up from his paperwork.

"Uh…you do know your cousin is dating Shuichi Shindo, do you not?" K asked, stepping back a bit. An angry Tohma is a very, very, very bad Tohma.

Tohma twitched, but slowly closed his eyes, sighing. "That…little…snake…" He mumbled angrily. "I knew Fujisaki's were slippery, but this is stupid…"

"Right, I'll be leaving." K stated and fled the room.

… … … …

And now back with our wonderful couple, who were still kissing on the couch, thought now both were half-naked. …Right, not even gonna comment on that.

Anyway…then the ever fateful phone rang, pulling the two apart. They knew they had unplugged the phone when they had got there, expecting a furious call from Tohma, so then, what was ri-

"Tohma! How did you get my cell number." Suguru asked, trying to contain his annoyance and not crush his dear phone.

"…Must I actually explain, _dear cousin._" Tohma bit out and you could practically feel his evil little smile over the phone. "Now…no sex, I'll know. Bye…_snake." _

Suguru turned his phone off. "That…freaking…raven!" He growled out.

And then threw his phone on the ground, while Shuichi pondered why his lover had called Tohma a Raven. Weird… Ah…must be a family thing. Oh, well! He went back to kissing Suguru. What a short, and stupid, attention span. Uh…no offense Shuichi, oh, wait, he's not reading this. Um…let me restate that, no offense **to **Shuichi.

**End**

**AN - **Uh…right…I know, weird as well. But it was a bit funny, don't you think? With K freaking out a bit. But, whatever. Hope this'll make you laugh. Oh, and don't ask about the whole Raven and Snake thing. I might explain it later in a multi-chapter fic I might do. So, yeah…


End file.
